Saint Seiya Answering Machine
by Dragon Knight of darkness 01
Summary: NONE OF THE POSTS USED TO MAKE THIS ARE MINE! CREDIT FOR THOSE WHO ARE USED ARE AT BOTTOM! Other than that this is just a fun litte fan thing that I hope makes people smile after reading. Part 5 up.
1. Part 1

Okay before anything is started let me just say this. NOTHING IN HERE IS MY OWN WORK! Also this is just for fun. All of this was done by different people who go to a forum I go to and when I read them I wanted to do something with them. Don't worry though I do have permission to use them by the people who did them and I will give credit to them at the bottom of the pages when their posts are used. So please don't get angry at me for anything because I am telling you this now. One other thing is some of these will have voice mail as well as a machine message but some do not and some are really short. (Makes me think if I should put two in one.) Anyways I hope you like this little funny fan stuff.

Saint Seiya Answering Machine

Part 1 Bronze Answering Machines

Seiya's

Seiya: Yo! This is THE MAN! It's Seiya! whispers to the side Oi, you guys call out my letters  
Hyoga: Seiya, hurry up with your voice message already! Go call the pizza place  
Seiya: Who cares about that! Hurry up and give me an S-E-I-Y-A!!  
Ikki: so this is the idiot Seiya, please hang up the friggin phone and never call this guy EVER!  
Shun: now that's not nice Nii-san!  
Shiryu: leave your message please and Seiya will _eventually_ get back to u  
BEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Shun and Ikki's

S - Hello, this is Shun, niisan and I are not in right now, please leave your message and we would return your call  
I - Speak for yourself, I'm not returning any calls  
S - But niisan, what if it's something important?  
I - If the phone call didn't come in while I was here, then tough luck  
S - Why are you like this? Don't you care what the wanted to say to you?  
I - It's not really about caring, it's just I don't giving a da  
S - Niisan how can you say that? You're always this grumpy you should...uh-oh...  
I - What is it now?  
S - I still recording...  
I - Ah, shi-  
Beep

So do you like it so far? I know it was really short but these are the only Bronze saint machines done so far on the forum. If more are added they will probably be put on another page. Another chapter will be up in not time.

Messages by:

Seiya's Answering Machine- irrelevant maverick

Shun and Ikki's Machine- Galaxian


	2. Part 2

Yay the second chapter

Yay the second chapter! Didn't take long to do though. This has some of the Goldies machines. Anyways hope you like it.

Saint Seiya Answering Machine

Part 2 Some of the Goldies

Shaka's Machine

Shaka: Hmm... It seems I'm out of town. Or maybe I'm meditating. Anyways, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep, if you wish it. I really do not care at all. It merely comes down to-  
Aiolia: SHAKA! STOP TALKING LIKE JOHN KERRY! TELL THEM TO DO SOMETHING AND LEAVE IT AT THAT!  
Shaka: One moment please...  
footsteps being heard  
Aiolia: No... no! NOOOOOOOOOO!! THIS IS INHUMANE!  
Shaka: Aiolia, you told me to do something and make my mind up about it, to deal in absolutes. So wrapping you up in chains and being my little kitty cat is just following your suggestion.  
more footsteps  
Shaka: Sorry about that.

Saga's Machine

Saga: is this thing on?  
Evil Saga: OKAY U TURDS! IF YOU DON'T HELP ME GAIN WORLD DOMINATION I WILL-  
Saga: whoa, what just happened? er, so please, can u hear me? PLEASE LEAVE MESSAGE AFTER-  
Evil Saga: LISTEN AND JOIN ME! APHRODITE AND DEATHMASK ARE ALREADY UNDER MY ORDERS! I WILL BE KILLING THAT SHI-SHI-SHION IN-  
Aioros: Hey Saga!  
Saga: uuh, my head...Aioros finish this message for me will u?  
Aioros: okay, calls behind him: and babysit Aiolia for me okay! So yeah, leave a message for Next Dimension man after the beep  
BEEPPPPPPPPP

Mu's Machine

M - Hello, you have reached the Aries temple. Sadly, I'm preoccupied with fixing cloth right now and I can come to the phone...  
K - whispering Mu, Mu  
M - Yes?  
K - Where's the paint?  
M - They're in the top case  
K - 'k runs off  
M - Now where was I? Oh yeah, please leave a message and I'll shall...  
S - Mu?  
M - Yes master?  
S - Where did you put the leftover balloons from Kikki's birthday party?  
M - They're in the back of the utility closet, why?  
S - No reason walks away  
M - Anyways, I'll shall return your call as soon as I can, and if you're Kanon or Milo, very funny guys, I know what you did to all the Silver cloth, and now I have to repair them all  
giggles and laugh from far away  
M - What are those two doing?  
S - from far away Eat paint Gemini house!  
sound of thousands of balloons flying  
M - Oh my...  
S - walking back The cloths have been avenged  
M - sighs  
Beep

Milo's Machine

'Good morning or evening or freaking whatever, this is Scorpio Gold Saint Milo speaking and I'd like to tell you that unfortunately I'm unable to answer your call at the moment because I think you suck or I'm busy polishing my nails or kicking the shit out of Kanon or whoever is nearby or the battery in my mobile died and I have to charge it. If you have something important to say, leave a message after the beep and I'll call you back if I feel like it.'

BEEP

You have

'Milo.. Aphro here... Have you by accident maybe seen my nail polish? Because you know, one bottle is missing and I think I know who might have seen it, am I right?' CLICK

'Hi, it's Kanon. Change this message.' CLICK

'Change this message, Milo-san, it's rude to use such words and say bad things about your fellow Gold Saint, didn't you know? Andromeda Shun' CLICK

'...

...Milo, you idiot' CLICK (didn't introduce himself, but it was Camus speaking)

Don't you just love stuff like this. Anyways this isn't all of the Goldies messages. There are some more that I know of but will be added later because that's just how this will be going. (Also I'm just being lazy sorry.)

Messages by:

Shaka's Machine- Steamrollers solve all

Saga's Machine- irrelevant maverick

Mu's Machine- Galaxian

Milo's Machine- Shiraoi


	3. Part 3

-1Yeah I know that this chapter has goldie stuff that I could have used in the last chapter but I didn't because as I did the last chapter I didn't take a look at the posts that I could and could not use so some of the posts I could have used I had to take out. Yes I also know that was a long sentence that wasn't needed but oh well. Anyways lets get on with this.

Saint Seiya Answering Machine

Goldies Machines II

Aioria's Machine

**A **- You have reached the Leo temple, I'm not in right now because I'm...well I...  
**K** - Just say it, "because I'm on a date with Marin"  
**M** - Yeah it's not that hard  
**D** - You call us here to help you get ready and now your wasting time because you can't set up you answer machine  
**A **- I didn't call any of you, you just barged in on my temple and refused to leave for the past 5 hours  
**K** - If we have left we wouldn't have found out about your date  
**A** - gritting teeth That's what I regret the most...  
**D** - Would you just finish with the machine and stop been a wuss  
**M **- Wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss…  
**A **- Argg! ok! I'mnotinrightnowbecauseI'monadatewithMarinpleaseleaveamessageafterthetone!  
**K **- Very smooth...  
Beep

You have four new messages

"Aioria, this is Seiya, I only have one thing to say: NICE!"

"I'll be waiting for you to return my sister without any harm to her pureness, you'll regret anything you do to her, you heard me Leo?"

"Aww, little brother grows up so fast."

"A piece of advice, something I learn from my friendship with Milo, don't let those idiots pressure you into anything, it's just embarrassing."

Deathmask's Machine

Cancer Temple here. Either I'm out killing someone or torturing Shiryu. Please leave a message after the 'beep' and I'll get back to you ASAP. Mwuahahahahaha!!  
click

(DM listens in)

Message 1: ... click  
Message 2: ... click  
Message 3: ... click  
Message 4: ... click

DM (grumbling): Why do I set up an answering machine if no one bothers to leave me a message anyway?

Another Gemini Machine

Kanon - Hi, you have reached the Gemini Temple, sadly, neither me nor Saga are in right now, so please leave you message after the tone

Saga - Ok, you're done, let's go

Kanon - Wait, I need to do one more thing

Saga - What is it now?

Kanon - If you're calling about Sports Illustrated subscripting fee, the check is in the mail

Saga - Oh, for Athena's sake...

Kanon - And if you're calling about the Parade magazine bill, Saga says that he'll send the check by the end of the week

Saga - What?!

Kanon - He says that same goes for the Cosmopolitan bill

Saga - What are you doing?!

Kanon - Nothing, just setting the answering machine

Saga - You making stuff up, I don't read any of that stuff, what would Athena think if she hears this?!

Kanon - Maybe she'll ask you what are the top 10 ways to please your man

Saga - What?! Give me that thing!

Kanon - No, I took time to set up the answering message

Saga - Yeah, filling it out with lies, give me that machine!

Kanon - No way! I won't let you delete it

A struggle is heard in the background followed by the shouts "Another Dimension" and "Galaxian Explosion"

Beep

On the Gemini answering machine will be found the following messages (Continued from Mu's Machine):

"Kanon. It's your DEAR brother Saga. Please come and see me in the Pope's Chamber at once when you get back. There will be candy there." beep

"Uh, hey, Kanon? 'S Milo. Your brother just called to say we should go over to see him in the Kyouko's chamber when you get back. He mentioned CANDY! Whaddya think? 3" beep

"Kanon, this is Aphrodite. What happened to you? Those bruises did not look pretty. Did you take away Deathmask's scalpel or something?" beep

"Uh, hey. Dohko here. Just in case you hadn't noticed, it's a BAD idea to piss off Shion. Or Saga. Uh, hope you...feel better...eventually?" beep

"Good morrow, Kanon. This is Shion. I do hope you recover from your indisposition quickly, as you are one of Sanctuary's best warriors. Please give your brother my warmest regards." beep

"Oh, Kanon. Saga again. I'd like to remind you that you still have to wash the toilets this weekend. And I do believe it's your turn to do the laundry as well. Have fun while I'm away with Camus and Shura." beeeeeeep

Hehehehe. Anyways another great chapter. Also thanks to Burstinatrix of the Void this and the rest of the chapters done will be better checked for grammar and other things that have been a problem with this story. (Yay!) Soon there should be some more. There should and would have been more for this one but it seems that some of the posters aren't longing on as much as we would like. Oh well can't blame them if their busy.

Messages done by:

Aioria's Machine- Galaxian

Deathmask's Machine- Shaina

Gemini Machine- Galaxian

Gemini Voice Mail- AuroraExecution


	4. Part 4

-1Hello again. Sorry for the long break but I was gone for the 4th of July weekend to see family so nothing could really be worked on. Anyways this chapter will have pretty random messages from Saint Seiya characters but that's how it will be until we get permission for some of the posts and I thought if we kept switching between bronzies and goldies would be annoying. Anyways here we go.

Saint Seiya Answering Machine

Random Characters

Touma's Machine

Touma: Hello, this is Touma and I'm-  
Seiya: HEY HURRY IT UP ALREADY! Saori-san is bleeding herself to death!  
Touma: SO?  
Seiya: :0  
Touma: and I'm busying kicking this Pegasus blasphemer's so please leave your message after I...HEY WAIT! I DON'T HAVE AN ULTRA COOL NAME FOR MY ATTACK!!  
Marin: Just use this one brother! "Pegasus Rolling Crush!!"  
:Seiya screaming in agony, writhing too!:  
BEEPPPP!!

Hyoga: Oi! Has Seiya been sent flying yet?  
Shiryu: Yes, and has he reached Athena like he always does?  
Hyoga: Yeah, we need to strike a pose... by the end of the movie, y'know, for screen time

Misty's Machine

Misty: He-ey, you've just reached Misty! I have long blond hair and bright blue eyes, I am very beautiful, and I am interested in dating! If you're interested, please leave a message! beep

Here are your messages:

Deathmask: Ehahahahahahahahah! breath Ehahahahahahahah! beep

Shura: Leave a !& message. beep

Seiya: Hey, Yo Misty! Y'know, u gotta stop being so conceited! That's Aphrodite's department!  
Shun: SEIYA! That's uncalled for! Besides, weren't u calling to ask him something?  
Seiya: oh right! yeah, so Misty, just to ask, DO YOU LIKE SWIMMING IN THE NUDE OR WHAT?!  
Shun: SEIYA!! :covers ears:  
Ikki: Seiya, HOW DARE U PUT IMAGES IN MY BROTHER'S VIRGIN MIND!!  
-thrashing sounds and Genma Ken is heard-

Capella's Machine

C: Hey, this is Silver Saint Auriga Capella talking. Leave a message after the beep or I'll Saucer your a.  
D: Good one, Cap. Oh, and if your Saucers don't reach 'em, my chain should do the work.  
C: ...Where the hell did you come from?  
D: The door.  
C: Oh. ...Doing anything tonight?  
D: Yeah.  
C: What?  
D: This.  
rattling of chains is heard  
C: ...Get your paws off me!  
several crashes and a yell of pain from Dante  
C: HEY! The ¤¤")#& machine's still on!  
D: I couldn't care less right now... whimper  
C: ...Ahem, please ignore that. No, scratch that. Ignore it or deal with the consequences.  
BEEEEEEEEEEEEP

YOU HAVE A MESSAGE  
T: Tremy here. If you can't stand Dante, send him to me. wicked laughter

Hyperion's Machine

Hyperion: Hyperion from the Titan Main House. It seems we're not home right now.  
Iapetos: Probably owning the Gold Saints again.  
Themis: Yeah, kickin' ass is my kinda hobby.  
Crius: Will you two shut up and let him finish the freaking message!?  
Hyperion: Ahem, please leave a message after the beep.  
Coeus: Hyperion! ...There you are! Oceanus nearly drowned in his room, apparently left the faucet open after taking a bath.  
sound of rushing water  
Hyperion: ...AAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHH!  
BEEEEEEEEEPPPP

YOU HAVE THREE MESSAGES

Cronos: ...What have you idiots been doing all this time? ...Call a plumber or something, the water's coming towards the lower houses!

Ponthos: ...BWAHAHHAHHAHAAAHAHAHA cough, wheeze Hyperion is AQUAPHOBIC! BWAHAHAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!

Theia: Dear, are you all right? ...Come back home if things are getting unbearable.

Here are more messages:

Aioria: whadya mean u guys are owning us? I CAN KICK ALL YOUR SORRY BUTTS TO PISA!!  
Milo: would u shut up Aiolia?! ur supposed to call Kurumada!  
Shaka: just why do we need to call our creator?  
Shura: apparently in Next Dimension, we don't exist  
Shaka: OPENS EYES  
Aphrodite: relax Shaka. In Episode G, we face these titans, who happen to have answering machines.  
Athena: but in Ep.G, I'm not in it much and only thru flashbacks

Poseidon's Machine

click  
This is Poseidon speaking. Please leave your message. I'll call back in about 200 years when Athena's seal has eroded again. You could of course try to talk to Julian Solo, but he is just a Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes nowadays.

Here are your messages:

click! Kanon here. Are you going to wake up already? click!

Ah what fun this is. Alright now it seems we have some good progress in trying to catch up with the people who post at the forums. Just wish we could put some other posts up here from people but until they give me a reply I don't think I should use them. Though I wonder if I just gave them credit in the end that they wouldn't get as mad at me. Anyways if they don't respond soon I'm seeing if their email is in their profiles and ask them again that way.

Editor- Burstinatrix of the Void.

Messages done by:

Touma's Machine- irrelevant maverick

Misty's Machine- AuroraExecution

Misty's Messages- irrelevant maverick

Capella's Machine- Raiden

Hyperion's Machine- Raiden

Hyperion's Messages- irrelevant maverick

Poseidon's Machine- Shaina


	5. Part 5

-1Alright another day, another chapter to do. Anyways hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am because I may not be the one coming up with them but I'm happy to be the one to do something like this and spread it around. Also luckily I have the help from another forum friend Burstinatrix as we both work on theses chapters. But anyways lets get on with some more funny saint seiya machines.

Saint Seiya Answering Machine

Bronze, Silver and Gold Mix

Jabu's Machine

Yo, it's the Unicorn here. Please leave a message after the beep. If it's Saori-san, I'm sorry I'm not there currently... I'll get back to you ASAP. And if it's that useless jerk Seiya, you still owe me a beating.

Shiryu's Machine

This is Shiryu, sorry I can't answer the phone right now. I'm either training with Roshi or strangling Seiya. Leave a message and I'll hit you back a.s.a.p. beep

Another Seiya Machine

clickcan figure out how to work this damn -- Oh! Hello? Hi! (ha ha) Seiya here! Sorry, but I can't take your call right now. My buddies and I are off fighting evil somewhere no doubt, and I've probably just splattered half of such brains as I have after falling 100 feet onto the least-used part of my body. But if you'd leave your name and number at the tone, I'll get back to you as soon as I possBEEEEEEEEEEP

Another Ikki Machine

IKKI: Hi. If you need instructions at this point, you probably shouldn't be using a phone. So do it. BEEP  
SHUN: Uh, Nii-san? Could you come over for a --  
JABU (in background): Are you calling your brother, you green-haired suspenders-wearing freak?  
SEIYA (in background): Lay off, One-Horn, let him do what he wants.  
SHUN: Anyway, there's some kind of -- creature in my room, and Jabu and Seiya are teasing --  
JABU (in background): For Athena's sake! It's just a _spider!_  
SEIYA (in background): Look who's talking big now. Just who cleaned whose clock in the Galactic Wars, hmmmm?  
SHUN: So if you have a minute, I'd be so grateful if -- Seiya! What are you doing?  
SEIYA (in background): Taking matters into my own hands. Ah, here's that newspaper I was looking for.  
SHUN: NOOOOOO!! Don't kill it! Don't --  
(muted voices and sounds of handset being bobbled)  
JABU: Never mind, Firebird. We got the situation well in hand here.  
SEIYA (in background): And your a is _next,_ Jabu! (maniacal laughter)  
JABU: Gotta run, I think it's time for Seiya to beat me now. See ya!  
SHUN: (mumbling unintelligibly and weeping inconsolably in background) click

IKKI (to himself): Geez. Talk about a dysfunctional family.

Yet Another Gemini Machine

Kanon - Hi, you have reached the Gemini Temple, sadly, neither me nor Saga are in right now, so please leave you message after the tone  
Saga - Ok, you're done, let's go  
Kanon - Wait, I need to do one more thing  
Saga - What is it now?  
Kanon - If you're calling about Sports Illustrated subscripting fee, the check is in the mail  
Saga - Oh, for Athena's sake...  
Kanon - And if you're calling about the Parade magazine bill, Saga says that he'll send the check by the end of the week  
Saga - What?!  
Kanon - He says that same goes for the Cosmopolitan bill  
Saga - What are you doing?!  
Kanon - Nothing, just setting the answering machine  
Saga - You making stuff up, I don't read any of that stuff, what would Athena think if she hears this?!  
Kanon - Maybe she'll ask you what are the top 10 ways to please your man  
Saga - What?! Give me that thing!  
Kanon - No, I took time to set up the answering message  
Saga - Yeah, filling it out with lies, give me that machine!  
Kanon - No way! I won't let you delete it  
A struggle is heard in the background followed by the shouts "Another Dimension" and "Galaxian Explosion"  
Beep

You Have One Message:

Ikki: pfft! what the hell kind a message is this?! I waited 10 minutes and now I've forgotten my message!!  
Seiya: jeez Ikki, you have Alzheimer's already?  
Ikki: Seiya, don't make me come over there and kick your jacka-  
Shun: NII-SAN!! That's enough! Kanon-san, we were wondering if you could order for us a subscription to _Sports Illustrated_.  
Hyoga: yeah, for some reason, we get the _Kids Sports Illustrated_-.-'

Shaina's Machine

click  
Shaina here. Actually I'm not here... So leave a message after the beep. And if there is ANY dumb comment about my possible whereabouts, you might expect a visit and a Thunder Claw! Capisce?  
click

You Have 2 Messages:

click  
DM: ...So when are you gonna come over? Or must I drag you here in chains?  
click

click  
Marin here... You know, I was waiting for you in your hut when I heard DM calling and talking onto your answering machine.. You two must have a really interesting relationship... Wanna elaborate a bit on the chain thing? voice sounds as if she's broadly grinning  
click

Marin's Machine

click  
This is Marin speaking. I'm a bit away for ...err safety reasons. Leave a message after the Beep!  
click

1. Answer: Marin - you are sooooooo dead!! / (shouted obviously into another direction) AND SO ARE YOU, ANGELO!!

Aphrodite's Machine

Hello there! This is Aphrodite and if you're a hot girl leave a message, but if ur ugly like Rhada, then hang up and call Angelo (DM)!

Beep

Hehe. Well another chapter down. I know there are a lot of different machines and messages on here but that's because as I did it I thought that it was getting to be really short so I thought I would add as many as I could. Though now this may be the last chapter for a while unless I start to do something I hope won't get me killed.

Editor: Burstinatrix of the Void

Messages Done By:

Jabu's Machine- Raiden

Shiryu's Machine- Burstinatrix of the Void

Seiya's Machine- ryuusei86

Gemini's Machine- Galaxian

Gemini's Message- irrelevant maverick

Shaina's Machine- Shaina

Shaina Message #1- Raiden

Shaina Message #2- Shaina

Marin's Machine and Message- Shaina

Aphrodite's Machine- irrelevant maverick


End file.
